International Journal of Advances in Arts ,Sciences and Engineering ISSN:2320-6136
ISSN:2320-6144 Volume 1 Issue 2
Written By Dr.G.S.Rama Krishna & Dr.N.G.S.Prasad
HR Excellence Through Interpersonal Relationship
Abstract
Relationship is
normally viewed as a connection between two individuals, such as an intimate
relationship. Interpersonal relationships vary in differing levels of intimacy
and sharing; implying the discovery or establishment of common ground, and may
be centered on something shared in common. It generally means the skills an
individual has in building and maintaining relationships with others.
Interpersonal relationships are dynamic systems that change continuously during
their existence. Like living organisms, relationships have a beginning, a
lifespan, and an end. Every person in this universe will need the help of someone
else one-day or other. All of us are interdependent and need one another for
help. Interpersonal skills are behaviours, used face to face, that succeed in
helping progress towards a useful outcome. Interpersonal relationship includes
not just one’s relationship with the other partner or close friends; it also
involves in one’s behaviour with colleagues, business partners and clients.
Keywords: Interpersonal skills; interpersonal communication;
informal relationships; intimate relationship; interdependence; positive impression;
enduring relationship; acquaintance; deterioration; interpersonal awareness;
interpersonal competence.
1. Introduction
Interpersonal
relationships are the basic unit of examination in promoting a climate of
performance in the modern organizations. They are official and bound to rules
and regulations. They are expected to be goal and task oriented. Informal
relationships, on the other hand, are based on ‘will’ and ‘pleasure’ of an
individual. They are personal and sustained as long as they satisfy the
individuals. A feeling of comfort and protection is found when one associates
with others.
A relationship is normally viewed as
a connection between two individuals, such as an intimate relationship.
Individuals can also have relationship with groups of people. Interpersonal
relationship usually involves some level of interdependence. People in a
relationship tend to influence each other, share their thoughts and feelings,
and engage in activities together. Because of this interdependence, most things
that change or impact one member of the relationship will have some level of impact
on the other. (Wikipedia, 2012)
Interpersonal
relationship varies in differing levels of intimacy and sharing; implying the
discovery or establishment of common ground, and may be centered on something
shared in common. It generally means the skills an individual has in building
and maintaining relationships with others. Interpersonal relationship relates
to relationship or communications among people, e.g., one needs good
interpersonal skills for the job.
An
interpersonal relationship is an association between two or more people who may
range from fleeting to enduring. This association may be based on inference,
love, solidarity, regular business interactions, or some other type of social
commitment. Interpersonal relationships are formed in the context of social,
cultural and other influences. The context can vary from family, friendship, and
marriage, relations with associates, work, clubs, neighborhoods, and places of
worship. They may be regulated by law, custom, or mutual agreement, and are the
basis of social groups and society as a whole.
The
development of successful working relationships takes time. The development of
a working relationship occurs in the following sequences:
- A positive impression opens the door for a long-term working relationship.
- The initial contact produces a set of impressions and attitudes in each towards the other.
- Mutual trust and influence develop as a result of meeting the psychological contract, and these ensure the continuation of the relationship.
- The interacting parties make continuous attempts to meet each other’s expectations.
Interpersonal
relationships are dynamic systems that are likely to change continuously during
their existence. Like living organisms, relationships have a beginning, a
lifespan, and an end. They tend to grow and improve gradually, as people get to
know each other and become closer emotionally, move on with their lives and
form new relationships with others.
2. Stages of developing
Interpersonal Relationships
There
are several stages of developing interpersonal relationship:
2.1 .
Developing trust and influence: The
result of meeting the psychological contract is an increased level of trust and
influence. When the parties to the contract are able to meet their mutual expectations,
the relationship produces mutual trust and favourable sentiment. The more
satisfactory the association becomes, the greater the influence the parties
have on each other.
2.2 . Forming first impressions: First impressions,
though often inaccurate, are lasting impressions. First impressions are lasting
because they influence the way in which people see subsequent data about the
perceived object or person. So, whether or not first impressions are correct,
it is important for us to make favourable impressions on other people. Initial impressions
do not guarantee long-term relationships, but they are essential for entering
into enduring relationship with others. Thompson describes the following
qualities which help make a good first impression: Poise, articulation,
conservative dress, positive attitude, knowledge ability, thoughtfulness,
self-confidence.(Dr.B.R.A. Open University, 2001)
2.3 . Honouring psychological contracts: An
effective interpersonal or work relationship cannot develop and be maintained
unless the participants are willing to honour their psychological contracts.
Each party expects the other to be faithful in the relationship, not to take
arbitrary actions and to be honest with him or her.
2.4 . Developing mutual expectations: When
people are mutually impressed, they are more likely to enter into a long-term
relationship. When this happens, they develop certain expectations about each
other. In work organizations, managers may expect new employees to be
competent, productive, reliable and loyal and to conform to organizational
norms. New employees, on the other hand, expect their superiors to be fair,
supportive and considerate of their needs.
2.5 Contact: Contact may be perceptual, a
result of interaction cues, invitational, or simply an avoidance strategy. Perceptual
contact is the way interacting parties look at each other and their body
language. Interaction cues come from nodding, maintaining eye contact, etc.
Invitational contact takes place when either of the interacting parties tries
to encourage potential interpersonal relations. Finally, contact for avoidance
strategies takes place for lack of disclosure and eye contact.
2.6 Involvement: It comes from feelers,
deliberate strategies for furthering relationships, or simply from the urge to
get together.
2.7 Intimacy: Intimacy develops out of the
urge to get close.
2.8 Deterioration: This stage is reached when
interpersonal relationships fall apart.(Deepak Kumar,2010)
One
of the most influential models of relationship development was proposed by
psychologist George Levinger. According to the model, the natural development
of a relationship follows five stages:
2.9. Acquaintance: Becoming acquainted
depends on previous relationships, physical proximity, first impressions, and a
variety of other factors. If two people begin to like each other, continued
interactions may lead to the next stage, but acquaintance can continue
indefinitely.
2.10. Building: During this stage,
people begin to trust and care about each other. The need for intimacy,
compatibility and such filtering agents as common background and goals will
influence whether or not interaction continues.
2.11. Continuation: This stage follows
a mutual commitment to a long-term friendship, romantic relationship. It is
generally a long, relative stable period. Nevertheless, continued growth and
development will occur during this time. Mutual trust is important for
sustaining the relationship.
2.12. Deterioration: Not all
relationships deteriorate, but those that do tend to show signs of trouble.
Boredom, resentment, and dissatisfaction may occur, and individuals may
communicate less and avoid self-disclosure. Loss of trust and betrayals may
take place as the downward spiral continues, eventually ending the
relationship.
2.13. Termination: The final stage
marks the end of the relationship, either by death in the case of a healthy
relationship, or by separation.
3. Types of Interpersonal Relationships
The types of expectations that communicators have of one another.
·
Friendship:
Theories of friendship emphasize the concept of friendship as a freely chosen
association.
·
Family:
Family communication patterns establish roles, identities and enable the growth
of individuals. Family dysfunction may also be exhibited by communication
patterns.
·
Romantic:
Romantic relationships are defined in terms of the concepts of passion, intimacy
and commitment.
·
Professional
relationships: Professional communication encompasses small group
communication and interviewing.
·
Interpersonal
competence: Assess interpersonal effectiveness in various types of
relationships and contexts.
·
Websites
for interpersonal relationships: This page links you to other websites that
provide resources about interpersonal relationships.(Novaonline.)
An
interpersonal relationship is the nature of interaction that occurs between two
or more people. People in an interpersonal relationship may interact overtly,
covertly, face-to-face or even anonymously. Interpersonal relationships occur
between people who fill each other’s explicit or implicit physical or emotional
needs in some way. Your interpersonal relationships may occur with friends,
family, co-workers, strangers, chat room participants, doctors or clients. (Livestrong,
2012)
3.1. Strong interpersonal relationships:
Strong interpersonal relationships exist between people who fill many of each
other’s emotional and physical needs. For example, a mother may have strong
interpersonal relationships with her children, because she provides her child’s
shelter, food, acceptance love. The extent of needs that a mother fills is
greater than the extent of needs that are filled between, for example, you and
the cashier at the supermarket.
3.2. Weak interpersonal relationships:
Mild interpersonal relationships exist when people fill modest needs. For
example, if the extent of your relationship with the clerk at the supermarket
is that he scans your items and you give him money that is a weak interpersonal
relationship. You need to go through him to get your items at the supermarket,
and he needs to collect money from you.
3.3. Enhancing interpersonal relationships:
Interpersonal relationships occur between people who fill each other’s needs in
some way. According to marriage builders, needs that occur between married
couples include affection, sexual fulfillment, physical attractiveness and
conversation. You can control the strength of your interpersonal relationships
by acting or neglecting to act on the needs of the people that you interact
with. For example, find out what your significant other expects from you on
birthdays or other special occasions. You can enhance or weaken the
relationship by either filling those needs or neglecting to fill them.
(Livestrong)
4. Developing Interpersonal Skills
Interpersonal
skills are the life skills we use every day to communicate and interact with
other people, individually and in groups. Interpersonal skills include not only
how we communicate with others, but also our confidence, and our ability to
listen and understand. Problem solving, decision making and personal stress
management are also considered interpersonal skills. People with strong
interpersonal skills are usually more successful in both their professional and
personal lives. They are perceived as more calm, confident and charismatic,
qualities that are often endearing to others. Being more aware of your
interpersonal skills can help you improve them.
Most
employees belong to a work unit. To some degree, their work performance depends
on their ability to interact effectively with their co-workers and their boss.
Some employees have excellent interpersonal skills, but others require training
to improve theirs. This includes learning how to be a better listener, how to
communicate ideas more clearly, and how to be a more effective team player.
The
quality of interpersonal relationships is largely affected by the way the
parties relate to each other. Some people have a greater desire to maintain
close relationships, others are relatively insensitive. But the ability to
create, develop and maintain such relationships is not inborn. More often than
not, this ability involves the way a person listens, questions, and responds to
others. In order to develop a close and binding relationship, parties must
expose themselves to each other so they can really get to know each other.
Every
person in this universe will need the help of someone else one-day or other.
All of us are inter dependent and need one another for help. Interpersonal
skills are behaviours, used face to face, that succeed in helping progress
towards a useful outcome. Face-to-face covers a whole multitude of different
interactions between people including informal talks in someone’s presence as
well as formal meetings. If improving the interpersonal skills through learning
and practice.
Interpersonal
skills as a set of behaviours which allow you to communicate effectively and
unambiguously in a face-to-face setting. They can also be thought of as
behaviours which assist progress towards achieving an objective. Interpersonal
relationship skills help us to relate in positive ways with our family members,
colleagues and others. This may mean being able to make and keep friendly
relationships as well as being able to end relationships constructively.
4.1 Increasing interpersonal awareness:
The Johari Window is a conceptual model for studying interpersonal awareness.
It was developed by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham. It is a schematic model that
shows how people expose themselves to others and receive feedback from others
in their interpersonal relationships.
The
Johari Window has four regions – open, blind, hidden and unknown.
·
Quadrant
1 the open self, represents the area of free activity. When we are in this
region, either individually or in a group, we are able to be more effective and
productive because this space is for good communications and cooperation. Arena
represents the ‘public self’ that is known to self and others.
·
Quadrant
2 the blind self, makes us known to others but unknown to self, which
results in our asking for feedback, based on which we try to reduce this area
and increase the open area. The blind spot is known to others, but not to the
self.
·
Quadrant
3 the hidden self or ‘façade’, indicates a situation, where we know
something, but to others it is unknown. This hidden area represents
information, feelings, including sensitivities, fears, manipulative intentions,
secrets, etc. The closed area is the ‘private self’ which is known to the self,
but not to others.
·
Quadrant 4
contains information, feelings, latent abilities, aptitudes, experiences, etc.,
which are unknown to the individual as well as to others in the group. The Dark
area is neither known to the self nor to others.
Interpersonal awareness can be
increased in several ways. When you feel the something is wrong with a
relationship but the problem area cannot be identified, you take one of the
following actions:
- Ask the other party how the relationship is working out for him or her. Take the initiative in expressing your concerns and feelings and listen to the feedback with empathy and without any attempt to defend.
- Ask yourself whether you are fulfilling the psychological contract. Take stock of your perceptions of mutual expectation and see if each of you is meeting these expectations.
The
following are the interpersonal skills which form a process that is applicable
to all situations:
·
Analyzing the situation help us to set realistic
objectives.
·
Establishing objectives, in turn provides the
context in which to make choices about how best to behave.
·
Selecting appropriate ways to behaving
·
Controlling your behaviour
·
Shaping other people’s behaviour
·
Monitoring our own and other’s behaviour.
5. Interpersonal Styles
There is research evidence that managers differ across cultures in their
interpersonal styles. Some of their relevant findings in relation to
interpersonal styles include the following.
·
Spanish and Portuguese managers were most
willing to be a aware of others’ feelings; to be concerned with their
subordinates welfare; and to accept feedback from others. The Germans,
Austrians, French were less willing to do these things. The other countries
feel between these two extremely different groups.
·
Managers from India were the most concerned about
bureaucratic rules; the Japanese were the least concerned.
·
Managers from India were the most concerned about
bureaucratic rules; the Japanese were the least concerned.
·
Managers from India saw themselves as most
dependent on higher authority. German and Austrian managers viewed themselves
as very independent.
·
Dutch managers were the most willing to
cooperate with others; the French were the least willing.
·
Japanese managers had a greater desire to be
objective rather than intuitive than did managers from any other country.
·
Japanese and Dutch managers were most locked in
by group commitments and were less likely to deviate from their initial
positions. Managers from the United States
and Latin America showed the least commitment
to their group positions, were able to reach compromises faster than the other
groups, and were deadlocked much less often.
·
U.S.
and Latin American managers demonstrated much greater interpersonal competence
than other managers.
What
the above once again demonstrates is that interpersonal approaches differ by
culture. International joint ventures
also lead to many interpersonal conflicts between members of the same company
from vastly different cultures. (Fred Luthan, 1992)
6. Improving the Interpersonal Behaviour
Interpersonal
behaviour is concerned with interaction of two persons at a time. In this
interaction, the individual behaves in a particular way which may be either
cooperation or conflicting. Interpersonal behaviour, may be of two types;
6.1. Interpersonal cooperative behaviour:
When the interaction between two persons is mutually gratifying, it is
cooperative behaviour. In this point of view, both persons are engaged in
complementary transactions. Out of this interaction, both persons get satisfied
over the objectives of mutual interaction. Conditions necessary for cooperative
interpersonal behaviour are mutual trust and respect, concern for each other’s
and interaction with complementary ego states. In organizational setting, such
behaviours are functional and lead to the achievement of organizational
objectives providing satisfaction to the individuals at the same time. (L.M.Prasad,
2005)
6.2. Transactional Analysis (TA): The
managers should take effective steps to overcome such behaviours. To analyse
and improve interpersonal behaviour, transactional analysis technique has been
developed.
Transactional
Analysis offers a model of personality and the dynamics of self and its
relationship to others that makes possible a clear and meaningful discussion of
behaviour. TA refers to a method of analyzing and understanding interpersonal
behaviour. When people interact, there is social transaction in which one
person responds to another. The study of these transactions between people is
called Transactional Analysis. TA was developed by Eric Berne, Harris and
Jongeward for psychotherapy in 1950. He observed in his patients that often it
was as if several different people were inside each person. He also observed
that these various ‘selves’ transmitted with people in different ways. TA
involves analysis of awareness, structural analysis (ego states), analysis of
transactions, script analysis and games analysis.
Transactional
analysis improves interpersonal relationship by providing understanding of ego
states of persons involved in interaction. It emphasizes complementary transactions
which ensure complete communication and problem-solving approach. The effective
managers may be able to analyse transactions with employees in the
organization.
People
spend a large portion of their time in organizations interacting with others.
They provide the connective issues that help to hold together the subpart of
the organization. While there are exceptions, in general, these are fair
relationships which the people conduct themselves, that is, they are two person
contacts. The dyadic relationship involves the social transactions between them
and the transactional analysis is an attempt to understand and improve such
transactions.
6.3. Life positions: The individual’s
behaviour towards others is largely based on specific assumptions that are made
early in life. Very early in the childhood, a person develops from experience a
dominant philosophy. Such philosophy is tied into his identity, sense of worth,
and perceptions of other people. This tends to remain with the person for life time
unless major experiences occur to change it. Such positions are called
psychological positions.
6.4. Life script: When confronted with
a situation, a person acts according to his script which is based on what he
expects or how he views his life position. In a sense, man’s behaviour becomes
quasi-programmed by the script which emerges out of life experience. In
everyday language, a script is the text of a play, motion picture, or radio
programme. A person, when confronted with a situation, acts according to his
script which is based on what he expects or how he views his life script. In a
sense, man’s behaviour becomes quasi-programmed by the script which emerges out
of his experience.(L.M.Prasad, 2005)
6.5. Self-concept: Your self-concept is a reflection of all your
past experiences with other persons and includes characteristics which
distinguish you from others. Once your self-concept is established and specific
patterns of behaviour are adopted, it tends to resist change. This resistance
to change also gives you a degree of stability that prevents you from regarding
yourself as worthless at one moment and worthy at the next. As your activities
are organized and integrated in relation to your self-concept, you can expect
to develop a relatively consistent life-style. Also, you achieve a stable
interpersonal environment by maintaining
a consistent relationship between your self-concept and your beliefs about how
others behave and feel toward you with regard to your self-concept. In order to
maintain your interpersonal environment and to maximize congruence or harmony,
you actively use certain mechanisms to stabilize interactions:
·
Misperception:
When the actual expectations of others are not congruent with your self-concept
or behaviour, you may simply misperceive how others see you.
·
Selective
interaction: You may choose to interact with those persons with whom you
can most readily establish a congruent state.
·
Selective
evaluation of the other person: You maximize congruence by favourably
evaluating those who behave congruent towards you and devaluate those who do
not.
·
Selective
evaluation of self: You maximize congruence by altering the values placed
on various aspects of your self-concept so that the aspects that are in
agreement with the perception of your own behaviour and those of others are
most highly evaluated.
·
Response
evocation: You, intentionally or unintentionally, behave in a way that
result in other’s behaving toward you in a congruent fashion. A person in
interaction controls the cues provided to others to ensure that he or she will
be categorized in certain ways and not in any unexpected way.
These mechanisms, mentioned above, are some of the means used by any
person to protect one’s self-concept and maintain an interpersonal environment.
7. Interpersonal Communication
Interpersonal
communication can mean the ability to relate to people in written as well as
verbal communication. This type of communication can occur in both a one-on-one
and a group setting. This also means being able to handle different people in
different situations, and making people feel at ease. Communication skills are
active listening, giving and receiving criticism, dealing with different
personality types, and non-verbal communication.
Most
people want to be understood and accepted more than anything else in the world.
Knowing this is the first step towards good communication. Good communication
has two basic components.
·
You listen to and acknowledge other people’s
thoughts and feelings; Rather than showing that you only care about
broadcasting your feelings and insisting that others agree with you, you
encourage others to express what they are thinking and feeling. You listen and
try to understand.
·
You express your own thoughts and feelings openly
and directly; if you only listen to what other people are thinking or feeling
and you don’t express your own thoughts or feelings, you end up feeling
shortchanged or “dumped on.”
The
major emphasis in interpersonal communication is on transferring information
from one person to another. The purpose of interpersonal communication is to
effect behavioural change by incorporating psychological processes (perception,
learning and motivation) and language. In addition, listening sensitivity and
non-verbal communication are also included. Getting feedback and providing feed
forward are most important in interpersonal communication. The importance of
feedback cannot be over emphasized as effective interpersonal communication
highly depends on it. Both formal and informal networks should be used for
effective feedback. It makes communication a two-way process. Networking leads
to mutual support and help which is essential for rapid career progress. (Andrew
Luthans, 1987).
7.1 Functions of interpersonal communication:
Interpersonal communication is important because of the functions and its achievements.
Whenever we engage in communication with another person, we seek to gain
information about them. We also give off information through a wide variety of
verbal and non-verbal cues.
- Gaining information: One reason we engage in interpersonal communication is so that we can gain knowledge about another individual. We attempt to gain information about others so that we can interact with them more effectively. We can better predict how they will think, feel and act if we know who they are. We gain this information passively, by observing them; actively, by having others engage them; or interactively, by engaging them ourselves. Social penetration, i.e., self-disclosure is often used to get information from another person.
- Building a context of understanding: We also engage in interpersonal communication to help us better understand what someone says in a given context. The words we say can mean very different things depending on how they are said or in what context. Interpersonal communication helps us understand each other better.
- Establishing identity: We engage in interpersonal communication is to establish an identity. The roles we play in our relationships help us establish identity. So too does the face, the public self-image we present to others. Both roles and face are constructed based on how we interact with others.(Abacon,2012)
8. Elements in Relationships
Dr.
Jones describes five success elements in relationships. It takes a combination
of;
8.1. Self-awareness: Becoming
self-aware is the first step to improving our interpersonal effectiveness.
Through self-awareness we learn what impact our behaviours – both positive and
negative – have on others. That knowledge helps us become more effective in our
interactions with others.
8.2. Self-confidence: Sureness about
one’s self-worth and capabilities.
8.3. Positive personal impact: We Impact
on others through our opinions, the amount we contribute the sound of our
voice, the effect of our silence, the expressions we use. Personal Impact is
about things apart from your looks of course. Improving your posture, knowing
how to shake hands properly, having good manners, not fidgeting and controlling
your nerves in meetings, looking friendly and confident.
8.4. Outstanding performance: Whatever
you do it to the best of your ability.
8.5. Interpersonal competence:
Interpersonally competent people are self aware. They use this awareness to
better understand others and to adopt their behaviour accordingly.
Interpersonally competent people build and nurture strong, lasting, mutually
beneficial relationship.
9. Developing Cooperative Relationships
Whereas
relationship is nothing but cooperation. A relationship will be maintained and
will prosper only when it satisfies the participant’s needs and expectations.
In a mutually helpful relationship, the participants tend to cooperate rather
than compete in sharing limited resources.
However,
development of cooperative relationships is a function of three factors:
9.1. Trust: The present level of trust
is a product of past experience and self-fulfilling prophecy. The more trusting
the parties become, the more likely it is that they will engage in cooperative
relationships in future.
9.2. Shareable goals: The perception
that the goal is sharable by the parties.
9.3. Perceived power of all parties:
This factor refers to the appreciation of the fact that anybody in a
relationship has the power to help or hinder goal achievement.
10. Interpersonal Needs
We
engage in interpersonal communication because we need to express and receive
interpersonal needs. William Schultz has identified three such needs:
10.1. Inclusion: It is the need to
establish identity with others. Inclusion the need for interaction and
association.
10.2. Control: It is the need to
exercise leadership and prove one’s abilities. Groups provide outlets for this
need. Some individuals do not want to be a leader. Control the need for control
and power. For them, groups provide the necessary control over aspects of their
lives.
10.3. Affection: It is the need to
develop relationships with people. Groups are an excellent way to make friends
and establish relationships. Affection
the need for love and affection.
Individuals
differ, however, in the strength of their interpersonal needs. For each
interpersonal need, there are two behavioural aspects – expressed and wanted.
Expressed behavior, is the behaviour that we initiate toward others, whereas
wanted behavior, is the behaviour we want or prefer from others toward us. Compatibility
is a property of a relationship between two or more persons that leads to the
mutual satisfaction of interpersonal needs and harmonious coexistence. If what
is wanted and what is expressed is equal for both interacting persons, mutual
needs are satisfied. For example, those who wish to dominate and control
activities, work well with those who want to be controlled or directed.
However, if both parties want to dominate, some degree of conflict may be
expected.
When
you compare these interpersonal needs with self-concept, you will find that the
need for inclusion is to feel that the self is significant and worthwhile, for
control, the need is to feel one’s self as a competent and responsible person;
for affection, the need is to feel that self is a loveable person.
11. Interpersonal Relationship Through Social Associations
Interpersonal
relationships are built through social associations, connections, or
affiliations between two or more people (Indianetzone, 2012). Interpersonal
relationships often mix the explicit and implicit interaction modes, which may
be focused or unfocused. Marketing people try to develop focused interpersonal
relationships with the customers. Management and administrative staff try to
remain unfocused in their interpersonal relationships with employees of other
departments because of the confidentiality involved in their duties. Through
interpersonal relationships, we make self-disclosure, provide feedback, exert
power, and show respect. Culture and language define the extent of
interpersonal relationships.
11.1. Interpersonal role: Mintzberg’s
interpersonal roles are primarily social in nature; that is, they are roles in
which the manager’s main task is to relate to other people in certain ways. The
manager sometimes may serve as a figurehead for the organization. Taking
visitors to dinner and attending ribbon-cutting ceremonies are part of the
figurehead role. In the role of leader, the manager works to hire, train, motivate
and control them. Finally, the liaison role consists of relating to others
outside the organization. For example, a manager at Intel might be responsible
for handling all price negotiations with a key supplier of electronic circuit
boards. Obviously, each of these
interpersonal roles involves behavioural processes.(Gregory Moorhead, 2000)
12. Ethical Role in Interpersonal Relationship
Interpersonal
relationship includes not just your relationship with your close friends; it
also involves your behaviour with colleagues or business partners or clients.
As a matter of fact, human ethics is comprised of following professional as
well as personal ethics. There are also some business ethics to be learnt to
handle people with dignity and avoid conflicts. And professional ethics is a
more compelling thing when compared to personal ones. Every organization has a
session to follow certain ethics to their employees at workplace to avoid
unprofessional activities among employees.
Ethics
is a subject which finds its place in almost every walk of our lives. There are
surely certain ethics of interpersonal relationships that when failed to follow
will make your personal life a bit of a disaster. It is true that ethics is
easy to speak but tough to follow. Yet you will have to think of ways to make
your interpersonal relationships work ethically too. Most of us know the ethics
of our lives and that of relationships too.
So
we usually are able to identify things that are of basically unethical nature.
But what we lack to understand is from where these violations stem from
psychologically. Certain things get rooted deeply within us right from our
birth, like an aggressive mother gives room to more aggressive children. So
this aggressiveness should be taken into account and corrected at the earliest
as it is for sure going to spoil the upcoming generations and their ethics in
relationships.
The hope of altering ourselves towards great
ethical human beings is surely not selfishness but it is a tribute that we pay to
our mankind. Ethically strong people will exercise healthy habits to maintain
their relationship with fellow beings. These things don’t mean that you have to
be in limits in your interpersonal relationships and again, don’t think that
your freedom in a relationship is under question. You can take advantage over
your life partner and only you have the right to take that extreme advantage
too, but not at the cost of her discomfort. There is a thin line of demarcation
between the comfort and discomfort zone. All you have to know is the extent of
that line and till what point you can make your partner feel comfortable. If
you have got used to understanding this basic thing, then you are ethically a
valuable human.
An
ethical person is a complete person. You will be considered a role model even
without your knowledge by many and that adds some meaning to your life!
Meaningful life is an achievement; go ahead and achieve it by living your life
ethically.
13. Managing Relationships
Misunderstandings,
tensions, breakdown in communication, etc. are common in dealing with human
resources. However, the ability to deal with human resource is not a special
gift and it has to be developed. It is a skill involving behavioural
flexibility and social sensitivity.
Attraction
and repulsion are all rooted in all sense subjects. Individuals should never
allow him to be swayed by them. The self in oneself plays a vital role in
interpersonal relationships. For interpersonal effectiveness one should develop
the skills of “learning interaction”, “empathetic interaction”, “diagnostic
interaction” and “experimental interaction”. In interpersonal relationships it
is the action that is going to give results and not intentions. Whenever people
meet others, the type of action and behaviour which affects the others in a
certain definite way and the reciprocal action arising there from only matters.
Every action has reaction. According to Newton 3rd Law
“every action there is an equal and opposite reaction”. This reaction depends
on the relationship. Measuring persons to the role thus becomes important. The
tendency that we have, prompts us to deal with certain things and if the
opportunity is provided, we do it and we feel satisfied. (Ramaswami, 1999)
There
are certain tendencies, needs, etc. in the personality to prompt us to do
something and if the opportunity provides the satisfaction, but does not
provide the means, we avoid it. If the relationship is task oriented, clear,
consistent and concerted interpersonal problems are minimized if not eliminated.
Mutual lack of distrust is the crux in interpersonal relationships. When
dealing with people let us remember we are not dealing with logs but creatures
of logic. We deal with creatures of emotions, creatures bustling with
prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity. Compassion is one of the biggest
ingredients in interpersonal relationships.
Interpersonal
relationship should be viewed from human angle. The rising surge in are men is
just a human situation, pregnant with live and intelligent details. Every human
being has emotions, intellectual interest, aptitudes and capacities. These
constitute his capital fund awaiting investment in proper opportunities. He
looks out for a channel into which he can pour out his intellectual initiative and
energies. He wants to feel that in the small world in which he lives and moves,
wants to unfold his personality. This is the human angle and human
relationship. The best position is therefore that when one recognizes the other
as a human and that he has dignity of human and not of one who has sold himself
for a mass pottage. Once this tenet is accepted, the gulf of suspicions and
distrust can be bridged. For any human, ultimately the pride of work and a
sense of loyalty is more than the money. A person wants to be recognized that
he is a human being with initiative, innovative and creative abilities.
Anything that would dwarf his using his creative efforts would throw him into
problems in interpersonal relationship. The result is chaos all round.
14. Understanding Relationships
When you live in this universal, there are
various types of complex interactions happening. As your field-of-play
increases, the complexity of interaction also goes on increasing. If you’re
just sitting in a cubicle, working on your computer with only one other person,
you need only little understanding; but if you’re managing a thousand people,
you need a vast understanding of everybody. The closer the relationship is, the
more effort you should make to understand them. Somebody becomes closer and
dearer to you only as you understand them better. If they understand you, they
enjoy the closeness of the relationship.
In
the coming days to come, the very quality of life is decided by the type of
relationship you hold. You should enhance your understanding to such a point
that you can look beyond people madness also. There are very wonderful people
around you, but once in a while they like to go crazy for a few minutes. If you
don’t understand that if you will lose them. If you understand them you can
easily handle them. Life is not always a straight line. You have to do many things to keep it going.
If you’re for sake you understanding your capability will lost. Whether it is
personal relationship or professional management. You need understanding
otherwise you don’t have fruitful relationships.(Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev, 2012)
15. Interpersonal Orientations
Each
person tends to exhibit one of four interpersonal orientations – a dominant way
of relating to people. That philosophy tends to remain with the person for a
life-time unless major experiences occur to change it. Although one orientation
tends to dominate a person’s transactions, other orientations may be exhibited
from time to time in specific transactions. That is, one orientation dominates,
but it is not the only position ever taken.
Concepts
of interpersonal orientation tell us how we influence each other. You have seen
that people interact more frequently with those who are perceived as confirming
their self-concept to the greater extent. Bonds of attraction from most
strongly between those who hold similar views towards things that are Important
and relevant to both.
Interpersonal
orientations stem from a combination of two viewpoints. First, how do people
view themselves? Second, how do they view other people in general? The
combination of either a position response or a negative response to each
question results in four possible interpersonal orientations.
·
I’m not OK – You’re OK
·
I’m not OK – You’re not OK
·
I’m OK – You’re not OK
·
I’m OK – You’re OK.
The
desirable perspective and the one that involves the greatest likelihood of
healthy interactions is “I’m OK –
You’re OK.” It shows healthy acceptance of self and respect for others. It is
most likely to lead to constructive communications, productive conflict, and
mutually satisfying confrontations. The other three orientations are less
psychologically mature and less effective. The important point is that,
regardless of one’s present interpersonal orientation, the “I’m OK – You’re OK”
perspective can be learned. Therein lies society’s hope for improved
interpersonal transactions. (John.W.Newstrom, 2003)
16. Taking Interpersonal Risks
Nothing
really happens in a relationship until the participants learn to trust each
other. However, trusting another person is not simple because it involves risk
of being exploited. It the other person behaves in such a manner that it
violates one’s trust in him or her, the relationship cannot continue. There are
a few things a person can do to create and maintain a trusting
relationship:
·
Take the initiative in self-disclosure.
·
Accept another person’s self-disclosure
·
Reciprocate another’s initiative with your own
self-disclosure.
·
Remember that the self-fulfilling prophecy works
in an interpersonal relationship.
17. Stress in Relationships
Relationship
problems are another type of stress we all experience from time to time.
Conflicts can arise with our spouse, parents, children, friends, co-employees,
bosses, or even with total strangers. As common as our relationship problems
are, we often misunderstand what causes them to occur. Much of the time they
come from hidden conversations and action patterns within us, not from the
behaviour or attitudes of others. The problem is we often don’t notice role
that we play. In addition, most people are confused about what it takes to
create happy, successful, long-term interpersonal relationships. This is
another hidden cause of our stress. (Stresscure.com)
Interpersonal
relationships become problematic when one or more of the participants has needs
that are not met within the relationship. Someone who wishes to end a
relationship may intentionally neglect the needs of the other person, but sometimes
needs change and people fail to keep up with those changes. For example, a
spoiled child may have a strong relationship with his parents only when his
needs are met, but problems arise when the child does not get toy he wants. A
mother may try to fill safety needs for her son by advising against his desire
for travel or adventure, although his need for safety may not be as strong has
his need for freedom and exploration.
Challenges
in life may feel less daunting to people with close interpersonal
relationships. Close emotional connections and good relationships may provide a
sense of safety and security that reduces stress and promote good health.
18. Interpersonal Conflict
Conflict
can occur within an employee, between individuals or groups, and across
organizations as they compete. Interpersonal conflicts are a serious problem to
many people because they deeply affect a person’s emotions. There is a need to
protect one’s self-image and self-esteem from damage by others. When
self-concept is threatened, serious, upset occurs and relationships
deteriorate. Sometimes the temperaments of two persons are incompatible and
their personalities clash. In other instances, conflicts develop from failures
of communication or differences in perception.(John W. Newstrom, 2003)
For
example, an employee was upset by a conflict with another employee in a
different department. It seemed to the first employee that there was no way to
resolve the conflict. However, when a counselor explained the different
organizational roles of the two employees as seen from the whole organization’s
point of view, the first employee’s perceptions changed and the conflict
vanished.
·
Interpersonal
conflicting behaviour: Out of interpersonal interaction, it is not
necessary that only cooperative behaviour will result. Because of several
reasons like personality differences, different value systems, interest
conflict, role ambiguity, etc., interpersonal conflict may arise in the
organization. This type of behaviour may not be functional for the
organization.
19. Resolving Interpersonal Problems
A close interpersonal relationship
is maintained by building trust, acceptance and support. But there are times
when one party may become angry with the other for failing to meet the
psychological contact. When this occurs, the first party should constructively
confront the second. How well the two handle such an interpersonal problem will
indicate the depth of the relationship. In a shallow relationship, one party
may ignore the destructive behaviour of the other, but in a mature
relationship, however, both parties should engage in constructive confrontation
in order to improve the quality of the relationship.
20. Conclusion
An
effective interpersonal relationship cannot develop unless the participants are
willing to honour their psychological contacts. The result of fulfilling the
psychological contacts is an increased level of trust, confidence and
influence.
When
you born in this world there are various types of complex interactions
happening. Man is a social-animal. As your field of play increases the
complexity of interaction also goes on increasing. In organizations as an executive
you need to manage more employees and vast understanding of everybody. The
closure the relationship is the more effort you should make to understand them.
Somebody becomes closure and dearer to you only you understand them better, if
they understand you, then they enjoy the closeness of the relationship. With
your understanding you can create situations where the other person would be
able to understand you better. Unfortunately the closest relationships in the
world have more conflict going on, than between enemies.
Interpersonal
relationship is a long term association between two or more people. The
association is based on emotions like liking, business interaction, etc.
Interpersonal relationship exists between any two or more persons who interact
and fulfill one or more physical or emotional needs. A relationship is normally
viewed as a connection between two individuals such as an intimate
relationship. Interpersonal relates to relationship or communication between
people. Interpersonal relationship and interpersonal communication promote your
career opportunities and fulfill the personal objectives also. Interpersonal
relationships are the basic unit of promoting a climate of performance in the
modern organizations.
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