HR Professionals ! Don’t Say “No”

HR Professionals ! Don’t Say  “No”

                                          “If you have exhausted all possibilities,

                             Remember this : you have not

                                           Tough times never lost but tough people do”

ð Robert Schuller

                                                            

     Doyen and founder of  Reliance Industries Late Dhirajlal Hirachand Ambani alias Dhirubhai Ambani said to his staff members that they should not use the word “NO” in their life. His mindset was framed always don’t say “NO”. Every thing is possible only through honesty, sincerity, hard working, positive thinking, self-discipline, commitment, self-confidence, empathy, loyalty, dedication and devotion. Always be positive and optimistic. He advised the Reliance staff members that the organization is their own. If the organization develops with team work, naturally the team will raise to the highest position in all aspects.

             

Ordinary and Extra-Ordinary People:

            The only differences between ordinary people and great ones is that: great people never consider defeats and failures as obstacles, on the contrary, they turn them into stepping stones to success, whereas ordinary people get discouraged and stop moving further. Great people are fully aware of the power within themselves, capable of over-coming huge obstacles and continuing their march till they reach their desired goals.

            “Great convictions are the mothers of great deeds.” “Fear is the greatest enemy of man.” “The earth is enjoyed by heroes- this is the unfailing truth. Be a hero. Always say, “I have no fear.” Tell this to everybody- “Have no fear.” Fear is death, fear is sin, fear is hell, fear is unrighteousness, fear is a wrong life. All the negative thoughts and ideas that are in this world have proceeded from this evil spirit of fear.”  “Nothing succeeds like success-thinking and nothing fails like failure-thinking.”  Remember no great person on this earth has always succeeded in all the situations all the times. But it is your attitude in career planning that makes the final difference. Prepare yourself  to climb the unending ladder of success. Every passing step  and your confidence  eventually fades all the fears.

            All power is within in you! You can do anything and everything believe  in that ! Don’t believe that you are weak ! Stand up and express the divinity within you ! Strength  is life, weakness is death!  said that Swami Vivekananda. When you are faced with a conflict, or failure, calm down. Think rationally and talk to yourself regarding your final goals. Don’t vacillate, for it would take up a great deal of mental energy and create confusion. Face the reality. You will eventually succeed.  What you think, that you will  be ! If you think yourself weak ! Weak you will be; If you think yourselves strong! Strong you will be. You are the architect of your personality. “You can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs.” Intellectuals always look towards a bright future! They never be pessimistic.    

            Swami Vivekananda opined that you must not say that you are weak. How do you know what possibilities lie behind that degradation on the surface? You know but little of that which is within you. For behind you is the ocean of infinite power and blessedness. Many youngsters are not very clear about their goal in life. You can’t begin your journey unless you are clear about you destination. You cannot proceed even a step unless you decide where you want to go. A clear cut goal and a one-pointed concentration alone help us to manifest tremendous confidence.  “Take the whole responsibility on your own shoulders, and know that you are the creator of your own destiny.” 

Nothing is impossible in the world. A Roman philosopher said that “It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; It is because we do not dare; That they are difficult”. Therefore, success consists in doing and accomplishing things. It is the accomplishment of an end aimed at. Samuel Goldwyn, used to say: “No person who is enthusiastic about his work had anything to fear from life.” Passion is the indispensable condition for a great achievement. Absolutely that nothing great in the world has been accomplished without passion. Success comes to the person who has the will to succeed. It is no bonanza, it does not come as a gift of heaven. Success or failure in any enterprise is caused more by mental attitude than by mental capacities. The success attitude magnetizes success, the failure attitude, failure. Conduct yourself as if you were what you want to be. 

R.K.Sahu’s  Performance Management System book,  opined that there are two types a psychological thinking people like aggressive people and non-assertive people. Their psychological thinking is  just like in the following way:

Don’ts For Aggressive People:           

ð  Don’t say, “I can’t” or “I won’t be able to”. Explain rationale.

ð  Don’t  depersonalize feelings or deny ownership. “You make me mad”.

ð  Don’t exaggerate minimize, or use sarcasm. “You’re never on time”.

ð  Don’t say, “You should,” “You must,” “You have do.” Restate as a request: “I would like you to…”

ð  Don’t use exaggerated words- “Obviously,” “Absolutely,” “Always,” “Never,” “Impossible.”

Don’ts For Non-assertive People:

ð  Don’t defer to be social or agree unwillingly. “I don’t care, whatever everybody else wants.”

ð  Don’t say  “Only,” “Just,” “I guess.” Restate in a more direct, confident manner without the wishy-washy qualifiers.

ð  Don’t ask, “Can you,” “Could you,” “Would you,” “Why don’t you,” “Would you. mind,” “Do you think you might.”  Request by asking, “Will you please” – it is the only question that truly asks for action and a commitment.

ð  Don’t use “It,” “That,” “One,” “You,” and “We.”  Use “I.” State your thoughts with “I thank,” your opinions with “I believe,” and your feelings with “I feel or I am(mad, sad, glad, scared)”.  

Techniques and Mantra for the Management of Your Frustrations:

“No great achievement is possible”  said Bertrand Russell “without persistent work”. As a Chinese proverb has it, “Nothing is difficult to a man who has persistence.” That is the mantra you can manage your problems. You cannot please everybody: You cannot always please everyone. Accept rejection stoically.

• Don’t think about yourself all the time:  if you do so your problems  are likely to get out of hand.
• Don’t cross a bridge till you come to it: Don’t worry about something before it has happened.
• Don’t be a perfectionist: Perfectionists are disposed to be easily frustrated because they expect too much of themselves and others. They are too idealistic and less realistic.
• Don’t take yourself and your problems so seriously that you cannot stand back and view the absurdity of taking anything so solemnly.
• Don’t wallow in self-pity. He who depreciates himself becomes worthy of his contempt and is justly depreciated by others. Don’t wallow around in your past. You are what you choose today, not what you have chosen before. The past is  a bucket of ashes. Eliminate the fear of the past failures and the need to be perfect.
• Don’t treat failure as a  bugbear.  “Nothing succeeds like success”. “Nothing fails like success.   Turning failure into success. Don’t confuse creative channels and their use with hackneyed phrase “positive thinking.” Don’t leap in the dark: Think carefully before you act.
• Don’t get whipped up: whip up success  or failure. Don’t feed yourself on thoughts of being abused, misused. Trigger your own spark. Don’t be misled by wrong notions about yourself. Don’t be duped by your potential foisted on you by your exploiters.
• Don’t look for mystical explanations. Have a sound logical system for your behaviour and conduct. Don’t  try to explain away your actions. Take a good look at the consequences of your actions.
• Don’t be misled by small talk of small people. Instead think that there is a spark of brilliance in you. You have to light it.
• Don’t neglect physical fitness. You cannot succeed unless you are physically fit. Don’t think rigidity  and stubbornness: If you don’t adjust, you disable yourself-physically and mentally. You succumb to inertia; you surrender your creative life forces.  Stubbornness is a personality liability. A stubborn individual does not hold  opinions: they hold him.
• Don’t be afraid of making mistakes. Progress is built on mistakes. The person who does not make mistakes does not learn. Don’t despair. If you  strike a bad patch, keep on doing what you know you should. Progress at last comes in a sudden breakthrough.  Worthwhile tasks call for a lot of hard work.
• Don’t make alibis. Making an alibi won’t help you. If you can move the blame from your shoulder, it will prevent you from doing your best. An alibi will not help him.
• Don’t think life is static. Life is a process. It is dynamic, not static. Don’t think negatively. Positive thinking can make you stronger. Negative thinking is exhausting. Don’t think pessimistic: Straight thinking is one of the essential traits of  a sound personality.
• Don’t procrastination. Life is a process, and life is a field of battle.  Let us start the efforts and you try to  change your  mind set.   The distance does not matter, it is only the first step that is difficult. Start doing it and keep at it.    
• Don’t be a fuss-pot. Don’t turn pin-pricks into tragedies. Don’t be narrow-minded and fanaticism are forms of stubbornness. A man of rigid personality is dogmatic. He is unable to appreciate the another person’s point of view. He gives the impression that he cannot be convinced about anything. Don’t allow irritable attitude. Irritability is one of the undesirable personality trait of an authoritarian. A man who is irritable has a defensive personality. He doubts the sincerity of is friends; is easily offended and resents any criticism.  
• Don’t believe ego-centricity. Ego-centricity is a serious personality handicap. An ego-centric person is self-centered,  that is he is interested primarily in himself and his own concerns and indifferent to the concerns of others. An ego-centric person is vain, conceited and selfish.

   

Kabir’s felt that “Like oil within seed, like fire within flint, God is right inside you- find him if you can. Recall Shakespeare’s famous lines on this theme in “Julius Caesar’: “There is a tide in the affairs of men, which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune; Omitted; all the voyage of their life, is bound in shallows and miseries.”   According to Meniscus, there is quite a difference between “I can’t do it” and “I won’t do it”. Usually it is the latter.

            Don’t tell yourself that you can’t do a thing when you mean that you have not tried. Reject general criticism and accept specific and constructive criticism gratefully. Don’t try to please everybody. Trying to please everyone, you will please no one, including yourself. A responsible mature adult decides for himself whom he want to please; and makes his choice. Take your own decisions and abide by them. Consults friends and experts for your own problems. Pluck the “iron string” and keep it vibrating, lest it should go rusty. Therefore, self-confidence becomes greater. Positive thinking and possibility thinking includes positive imagination. It plays a significance role in development of an effective personality and career development. Don’t underestimate your mental capabilities if you believe that you are dumb and dim you will perform accordingly. 

Reference:

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